Retreat! Retreat!

Being a detailed account of our heroines’ foolhardy mission to edit their WIP in one short weekend.


8:00am Lisa deposited by resigned husband at Lisa’s house

8:05am On the road to Nowhere Lake

8:36am Lisas arrive; overwhelming smell of cow manure wafting across Nowhere Lake.

8:37am Considering lunch options. Harsh Realization 1: neither Lisa remembered bread

8:38am Harsh Realization 2:  neither Lisa remember to bring thesaurus or dictionary

8:39am Lisa attempts to crack neighbor’s encoded wifi in face of desperate need for dictionary/  Fail.

8:40am – 12:58pm Working conditions primitive, heat sporadic, only managed to edit 17 of 198 pages

12.58pm Break for breadless lunch

1:40pm Back to editing

2:23pm Temperature in cottage finally reaches 60. Huzzah!

2:48pm Lisa viciously accuses Lisa of being a “word sucker” for deleting more words than adding. (nb: Term word sucker muttered in sullen undertones for rest of day)

3:06pm Harsh Realization 3: huge swathes of text need to be completely changed

3:07pm Harsh Realizition 3.5: Difficult to edit book when it is Nowhere. Close. To. Being. Done.

4:58pm Lisas get ugly over semantics. Shrill voices probably heard across the lake

7:25pm Break for local pizza run.

8:15pm  Back to editing

8:36pm Lisa angrily claims Lisa has changed all her best stuff

9:34pm One of the Lisas (who shall remain numberless) breaks down, claiming book sucks and all is for naught. Other Lisa must use happy voice to maintain calm.

9:40pm Harsh Realization 4: need untold hours/pages of work just to finish enough to try and edit again. There is still so much to do. What were we thinking? Slightly hyperventilating Lisa panics again.

10:36pm Lisas exhausted by day of unbridled editing. Only 66 pages edited, but must sleep.


7:26am Lisa rises refreshed and wakes up grumpier Lisa

7:30-9:30am Breakfast consumed, showers taken, make-up slathered. World situation discussed.

9:30am Back to editing.

10:15am Harsh Realization 5: we may not have the writing chops we always believed we had.

12am Leftover pizza and diet coke break

12:30pm Indulge in paraffin wax treatments. Lisas are unable to turn pages due to wax covered, mitted hands.

12:45pm Wax catastrophe barely avoided as wax hardens on cold feet and is impossible to remove

1:30pm Lisa says, “Goodbye sweet words” every time she deletes words. Lisa wants to strangle her

1:31pm-3:30pm Lisa barely refrains from friendicide as Lisa whines about everything

3:30pm-4:15pm Got through 100 pages. Clean up, pack up, head home. Running late as usual.


4 responses to “Retreat! Retreat!

  1. Other than that, Mrs. Lincoln, how did you enjoy the play?

    (Amy #1, being bitter and envious of the Lisas’ breadless, pizza stuffed, paraffinned and momentous weekend, writes snarky comments. She also realizes that her grammar sucks. Pay no attention to her.)

  2. We actually made plans for you…. mwahahaha. Your mission, should you choose to accept it, will be forthcoming in a private e-mail. Does this pique your interest?

  3. Pingback: Back on Trax « Lisa & Lisa Write a Book

  4. Pingback: Everything I Need to Know I Learned From Watching the Red Wings « Lisa & Lisa Write a Book

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