Gag Order

The Lisas have been percolating through ideas for their new romance WIP:

“How steamy is too steamy?” is the constant refrain from the The More Prudish Lisa. (TMPL)

“I dunno. But I can tell you more romances get ripped by readers for not giving enough detail than for going too far,” replies The More Cynical Lisa. (TMCL)

“Dear me! It’s not that I can’t write about it. It is that people will read it. Our mothers will read it. Our kids. Your grandmother, for heaven’s sake. I can’t have that on my conscience.”

“Obviously. …On the other hand, maybe we should go with the flow, see what happens.”

“I’m not ever sure I can write about it and have you read it!” The Prudish One’s cheeks start to redden just thinking about it.

“There’s an undeniable blush factor, obviously,” TMCL replies wryly.

“Not to mention the giggle factor. This could set us back to middle school humor. Shall we break out the dictionary and look up dirty words?”

“Heh heh heh. That would be so penile, I mean juvenile.”

“Maybe we should reconsider this whole romance thing,” says the gal who minutes earlier was ready to look up off color slang.

“Are you breaking up with me?”

“‘That’s a mental image a lot of readers won’t ever be able to wipe from their brains. It’s the same reason I call you my co-author and not partner. Anyway, I just need you to know that I don’t go past first base, maybe rounding second. In my writing! Dirty-minded people. The line between romance and erotica has become so fine. I’m reading happily along and suddenly find Tab-A fitting into Slot-B, and maybe even Slot-C.”

“Romance is about relationships, porn is only about jiggly parts.”

“Thank you for that clarification. Still, it’s the relationship to those jiggly parts that has me leery. I’m not really a prude no matter what nickname you gave me for this blog, but some things are better left to professionals.”

“Are you suggesting what I think you’re suggesting?”

“Depends. Are you thinking we should hire a prostitute to ghost write for us? Cause my husband says he’ll write it for free.”

“I was thinking we’re never going to be successful writers if we can’t agree on what to write.”

“You’re right. Let’s throw caution to the wind and see where we end up.”

“I hope we end up with an agent.”

“I hope we end up in Hawaii. Well, I’m off to write a scene about our female protagonist going wild and using her underwear as a bikini.”

“It always ends in underwear, doesn’t it?”

“It does, it really does.”


14 responses to “Gag Order

  1. At least your protagonist is WEARING underwear! 🙂

  2. It is to wonder: will Gen Y’ers grow into old ladies and still eschew panties? Always something to look forward to…

    • I just had a bizarre experience the other night where sixty-somethings were rocking out to Boston and Pink Floyd at a band concert in the park. That was weird enough, thank you. 😉

  3. You should listen to my latest audio book for some pointers. “Hard, punishing kisses” is just one physical description that this particular authors apparently likes. A lot.

    Which one of your husbands offered to write the smutty parts for free? How would you solicit a prostitute’s help? The mind reels…

    • First, we’d like the title of that book, for research purpose only, of course. Second, Lisa’s husband, and lastly, hang around truck stops.

  4. It’s me again – I have an award for you over on my blog, if you’d like to stop by to collect it. 🙂

  5. Hey Lisa and Lisa. Which Lisa was I talking to a few weeks ago? This is Klondike. LOL I totally agree. Was I really comfortable with going to my naughty place? And then let everyone read it? The first thing that popped into my mind was my dad reading it. Eewwwah!! After I threw up a bit, I pushed on. Love the blog…you 2 are hilarious! Hopscotch over to mine for a visit…

  6. You were talking to me, the more prudish Lisa. (Yeah, I know, that must make TOL an absolute animal, right?)

    But it took me a minute to decipher “Klondike,” and then another minute to run to the freezer, and yet another minute to get over the disappointment of finding only rump roast and tater tots, and one additional minute to persuade my husband I’d do anything for a Klondike bar, and then a final minute to put my clothes back on…and then I went to your blog.

    Glad to see you, keep in touch!

  7. Pingback: The World’s Strangest Preoccupation « Lisa & Lisa Write a Book

  8. I’ve gone fishing in my underwear before. I’m sure no one in the fleet of kayaks that paddled by was the wiser.

  9. OM Goodness, I cannot stop laughing about “jiggly parts!”

    • I read an interview once where this guy agreed to run naked on a beach for some “artsy” movie or photos or something. He said afterword he never experienced so much aftershock pain in his nether-regions. I obviously file things like that that away as fodder.

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