Interview with the Vampire Housewife

First off the Lisas did a guest coup appearance on the blog Not Your Mother’s Weblog. Next we’re excited to announce on August 9 we will be featured on author Keli Gwyn’s blog Romance Writers on the Journey. Never fear, we will remind you about this gig at least 47 more times.

Today, taking a tip from Writer’s Digest: 9 Questions to Ask Your Main Character, by Alicia Rasley, we are going to interview Mary Minke from Will Steal for Shoes (WSFS), our first completed women’s fiction manuscript.

The Lisas: Welcome, Mary. When we first meet you in WSFS, it’s just after your fortieth birthday. Tell us a little something we won’t find in the book; about your childhood perhaps?

Mary: I was born in the same place I’m living now and with any luck I will soon die here too. I’m sorry, you were saying? I had a great childhood, really. Rode my bike everywhere. Talked to strangers quite frequently. Took a lot of candy from strangers, and not just on Halloween. Then, I got married, moved around the block and – did I mention I like candy? Because I’m not sure you put that in the book.

The Lisas: Bitter chocolate?

Mary: Maybe you guys aren’t doing enough to get me published, ever think of that? I resent being called a housewife. I have a crappy full-time job. And vampire? You flatter me, I should be so lucky to have been written as a vampire.

The Lisas: Whoa! Look, just because we’ve moved on to writing other books doesn’t mean you won’t always have a special place in our hearts. You’re our our first human protagonist after all. We’re just a little worried that maybe you’re…what we mean to say is…

Mary: So say it already. Shallow? One dimensional? Boring?

The Lisas: Unmarketable.

Mary: Ouch. You really know how to hurt a gal. It’s not enough that my kids have no respect, trouble follows me everywhere and I’m perimenopausal?

The Lisas: I think you should know, Lisa has gone so far as to consider rewriting you in third person.

Mary: This interview is over.

The Lisas: Now don’t be that way. We haven’t agreed to commit to anything, it just came up that’s all. Besides, research shows first person may be making a comeback. You’re not always this cranky, Mary. Remember that great time you had with your gal pals at the only swanky restaurant in town? Sure you got drunk and may or may not have committed (another) felony. And Chicago? The Chicago trip was a riot, right? A t least until you got attacked by killer butterflies. Is there any way we can redeem ourselves in your eyes, Mary?

Mary: Two words: Manolo Blahnik.

The Lisas: What size?

Mary: It’s in the book, look it up.

The Lisas: Oh yes, chapter ten; size eights. Unless they run ridiculously small. TOL (The Other Lisa) thinks we’ve let this interview get away from us, so we’re going to have to close here. We’d like to thank our antagonist protagonist, Mary Minke, for her guest appearance.

Mary: Just be sure it isn’t my last.

The Lisas: Thank you also readers, for stopping by our blog, Lisa & Lisa Write a Book.

Mary: You weren’t exactly planning ahead with that genius title, were you?

The Lisas: Until next time, this has been Lisa – and TOL – wishing you cheery reading and cheerier characters!


14 responses to “Interview with the Vampire Housewife

  1. LOL to both the Ls.

    • LOL always makes me want to talk in acronyms

      acronym of the day: SOS
      (although I have no idea if it’s really an acronym or what it stands for)

  2. You ladies are a riot…truly! I just went back and read through a bunch of your older posts. (so if your “views” have quadrupled don’t get too excited…just me). What’s the updated update — is Mary still being sent out into the world?

    • Mary is still being launched at carefully selected agents. Our aim is getting better and better.We still haven’t heard back from one of them who has a partial…I think we’re sticking with the “no news is good news” motto in that case.

  3. I’m kinda feeling sorry for Mary. Perhaps you guys were a little harsh? I do understand having a crappy job, being perimenopausal and not having my kids’ respect.

    Wait. You didn’t model Mary after me did you?

    The unmarketable crack was over the top. I think Mary would benefit from anti-depressants.

    • The characters in this book have no resemblance… Oh heck, there’s a little Mary in all of us, ladies.

      • You know what? This was really hilarious. I’m still laughing about it days later. Sorry, Mary.

      • Mary wants to make people laugh, it’s her life’s dream. That and losing weight in her sleep.

  4. You two crack me up…yep…we all have some of Mary…damn…now I am going to be thinking all day to see which parts suits me…thanks girls.

  5. LOVE the interview!!! I think I might have to borrow that idea and interview my MC for my blog!! This is such an awesome idea!!!! LOL about the POV change form 1st to 3rd…been there, done that..hope my MC wasn’t too peeved about it!!

    • We borrowed the interview idea and suggest all authors should have the joy of being berated by their protagonists. We do regret to inform you, however, that we have it on good authority your MC has taken out a hit on you. Watch your back; you’ve been warned.

  6. Pingback: Repurposeful | Lisa & Lisa Write a Book

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