This Little Light of Mine

The Lisas have run across the occasional agents who ask prospective authors to pinpoint their target audience, and explain why they are the right person/s to write their book.

We find the last part of this puzzling. It is like asking someone why s/he is the right person to have earwax. “Um, because it came with package?” Because the story was our idea. Because we wrote it. It all seems so obvious to us.

Not so fast. Is anything that straightforward? Take clothes dryers. Many newer model clothes dryers have a a light inside, just like a refrigerator. (Not TOL’s refrigerator, mind you, but that’s another story). Seems like a sensible feature: now missing socks can be confirmed truly vanished, rather than merely hiding in the shadows.

So here’s the point where you are saying, “What the Sam Hill does the dryer have to do with anything?” Play along here. If the majority of people are as lazy laid back as we, they don’t always close the dryer door after collecting a particularly unruly load of bedsheets. Then at night, a dim, eerie light can be seen beneath the crack of the laundry room door, leading to that involuntary, hair-raising response : Is someone in there? Has the laundry fairy arrived at long last!? Or is it a run-of-the-mill serial killer who likes to strangle people with clean underwear? (Because we’d hate to be strangled with dirty underwear.)  Then the realization: the dryer door was left open again. And for most people that’s flat out annoying. (For TOL’s husband it’s an environmental crime equivalent to clubbing baby seals, then eating said baby seal with A-1 sauce.).

The moral of the story? It might be: buy a dryer without an internal light source. You won’t be able to replace incandescent bulbs anyway, and when the friendly toxic version breaks your clothes will become radioactive. And you will save yourself many a heart-thumping moment of adrenaline laced fear.

But we have chosen this moral:  if you write outside the box, be prepared to back up your scribbling with solid data, and then be prepared to write something profound (ha!) or mainstream, if you want to crack the publishing nut. There are a few nuts the Lisas would love to crack, but the balls are all out of our court.

Thanks in advance for your unwavering support. It’s going to be a challenge to write with our hands in the air, white flag surrender-style. Did we mention we’re now halfway through our conventional-romance-turned-upside-down-May-December-romantic-comedy? Gluttons with a dash of punishment and a twist of plot anyone? Make ours the usual: a double.

*NEXT POST: NAME THAT ROMANTIC COMEDY

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4 responses to “This Little Light of Mine

  1. You’d think that a professional writer could come up with something deeply profound to say, with one pencil tied behind his back. Instead, my elevator pitch came off sounding as brilliant as a dryer sans light.

    That reminds me. I’m out of clean underwear.

    • We like to push all the elevator buttons and then run away, laughing. Mwhahaha.
      *(what, you can’t turn your undies inside out like the rest of us?)

  2. Mmmmm, baby seals with A1 sauce…

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