Excuse Us While We Indulge in a Polite Midwestern Rant

Thelisas are nothing if not polite. This is in large part because our mothers, The Judys, would have it no other way.

It is also because we were cursed to be born in Michigan. Now Michigan is a fine state, in fact, probably Michigan Lisa’s favorite state in the Union. With dunes, lakes, fields, forests, it is a fantastic place. And much like our Canadian cousins to the north/east, the people are super nice. (With a few notable exceptions.) Therein lies our problem–the damned niceness.

Tell those of us stuck in the middle the stupidest, most asinine thing (‘Henry’s a vegan so his waste makes great fertilizer – enjoy that tomato’), and in shock and horror we will muster up a cheery, “How interesting!” This is Midwestern code for: That is worthy of a restraining order you asshat, but I am simply too kind to say so. This is very much *unlike* our fellow Americans on the coasts of New England & Cal-i-forn-I.A. They suffer no fools. We understand that they look down upon us, pity us. We pity us too.

Right about now, a few people who know us well are thinking, “Dear Heavens, these women are completely deluded if they think they are nice, conformable ladies.” Chief among these scoffers would be our husbands, John and Mark (hereafter collectively known as Mohn.) Silly Mohn, unfortunately for you, gentle Midwesterners such as ourselves feel comfortable letting loose in our own homes, but in front of strangers and acquaintances we plaster on a smiling grimace and use the “I” word.

But thelisas are ready to claw, kick, cheat and lie our way to the top of something, anything, and our innate niceness is not going to get in our way. Nice guys finish last. We’ve blogged about our sinful nature, we’ve written about our book character’s sins; we’re willing to go so far as to run for office if that’s what it will take to be taken seriously. Don’t make us run for office.

In the meantime we’re going to attempt to get Worth Lying For to the top of the free book list–and beyond–by featuring it exclusively with amazon for the time being. So remember, no matter how many reviews a book may get, its author/s always appreciate one more. It’s up to you to keep our badasses off the streets, out of jail and up to our eyeballs in interesting sh*t. (Our apologies to The Judys.)


8 responses to “Excuse Us While We Indulge in a Polite Midwestern Rant

  1. Ah, you would be a person that I would understand. I had one manager tell me my Polly Anna attitude was sickening. He never understood how I could collect accounts better than a man with my “niceness.” Oh, yes, did I mention, I’m from Iowa?

  2. Wait a minute! Your mothers are both named Judy????

  3. That’s spooky!

    Note to self: hold off on Operation Michigan Annexation.

  4. One of the Judys is not amused…we Judys raised our Lisas to be perfect ladies. I am downright shocked at the language!

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