Only 84 days past the normal time for making a New Year’s resolution, The Lisas have decided to jump on the healthy train and become a better and healthier us! NO, we have decided to hijack the darned train! We will replace our previous mottos of “Never let the bastards win” and “Never do today what you an put off until tomorrow” with “No pain, no gain” and “A moment on the lips means a lifetime on the hips”. Hot rivulets of sweat will pour down our faces as we try for just one more set of reps. Post-workouts, neon yellow sports drinks will be greedily gulped. Our plates will be a shining rainbow of healthy food choices.
Or, we will simply try to eat more oatmeal. Yes, perhaps oatmeal is the way to go. We hear that a big bowl of oatmeal can do a heck of a lot of good. And all that gym stuff would be tricky. We’d have the horror of shopping for gym clothes, the horror of the world seeing us in yoga pants, the drive to the gym, the sticky floors of the odiferous locker rooms and the actual discomfort of the exercise itself. It would be so much easier to pop a bowl of oatmeal in the microwave. In fact the next health study we read will very likely being one stating that nothing in the word could do more good than starting the morning with that big bowl of oats, and to hell with the rest of the day!
MI Lisa is not only on board the oatmeal train, she is the bandanna-bedecked engineer tooting the oatmeal whistle! “All aboard, FL Lisa,” she gaily calls. FL Lisa spurns the very idea of oatmeal, even if it has delicious dried cherries in it which makes it just exactly (except not really) like eating cherry pie.
“Tastes like cherry pie you say?” FL Lisa asks with more than a hint of skepticism.
“Just like. Except not really.”
“Move the Oatmeal Express along. I’m staying at the station.”
“You’ll be sorry when I’ve lost weight and feel great,” MI Lisa chastises.
“I though my credo was ‘never do today what you can put off until tomorrow,’ but now I’m leaning toward ‘fat and happy beats skinny cherry pie oatmeal – except not really'”
“Perhaps it’s best to mix it up from time to time. A soft boiled egg would be nice.”
“French toast is good this time of year.”
“A Belgian waffle might be too decadent?”
“But not for brunch.”
“Brunch it is then!” MI Lisa sounds ever more cheerful.
“With a side of cherry oatmeal?”
“With a side of butter and syrup!”
“What are friends for?” FL Lisa asks.
“Sabotaging diets, obviously.”
“Maybe tomorrow. Pass the whipped cream.”