The Lisas have a deep streak of prudery. This is reflected in our namby-pamby shockswearing style. We pat ourselves on the back every time we hold back a real flaming curse word, but there are repercussions. MI Lisa has teenagers who live through the daily horror of her made-up swear words. These include, but are by no leap of the imagination limited to:

  • Buns. It’s short, satisfying to say, and is quickly and easily repeated three times in quick succession. Because all swearing is more satisfying and successful if repeated three times. Preferably with the anger and/or volume increasing on every repetition. (Try it. buns, Buns, BUNS!) If MI Lisa is really agitated it can also be expanded to the inexplicable bunfaces.
  • Equally inexplicable, but oddly gratifying to say, is the similar ratfaces. Sometimes she plays it cool and just goes with the more mainstream rats, but not nearly often enough.
  • Farty fart. Newly added to the MI Lisa Swearing Lexicon, this has the lovely alliteration of the best cursing, but has been roundly, and justifiably, condemned by her children. She tries–she really tries–not to use it.
  • Forsooth. MI Lisa’s latest ‘swearword’. After reading that Henry the VI of England didn’t allow cursing at court and would only use the mild expletives of “Forsooth and forsooth!” or “St. John!” she decided to follow his example.

Next time you stub your toe, or have another driver cut you off–don’t hold back. Take a deep breath and say it out loud. FOR-sooth! You’ll feel better.


5 responses to “Pseudocurses

  1. The problem with saying forsooth is that everyone will wonder what’s wrong with you…. or wonder if you were raised among the Amish.

  2. I call my best friend ‘bunface’. I mean it in the most affectionate way but now I am feeling bad about it. Shoot.

    • The alternate definition is “sweet, gentle; furry.” It’s endearing, except for the excess facial hair thing.

    • Gosh, Blogbrarian, don’t feel bad. Remember my usage of the word is what is weird. Also, the reason buns/bunfaces are truly fabulous swear words is because you can’t really stay angry saying them You start to think of hot cross buns, or the scene in the book A Little Princess where Sara Crewe gives five of her buns to the little beggar girl–and frustration just evaporates.

      And, if it makes you feel better, I’ve called my bff bunface for years and she just loves it.

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